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Joke of the Day

"Apparently there was a mass shooting at the Gap. There were a lot of casual tees."

"Philosophical porn Person 1: Hey, why don't you watch philosophical porn? Person 2: Eh, it only appeals to a very Nietzsche fanbase."

"New Mexican word for today: Brief Today, my homie farted so hard, I could barely brief"

"Why did the cows return to the marijuana farm? It was the pot calling the cattle back."

"I asked my Pharmacist for advice on telling a rash joke.. he told me to make it topical."

"What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer."

"Girl on Facebook Heyy i have not seen u since high school. Me. It's been a while. Her. Yea been married 6 years now : ) Me. Unfriend"

"Her: OMG! The holidays aren't an excuse to stuff your face with whatever edible that crosses your path. Me: I eat like this everyday."

"How often do I make chemistry jokes? Periodically. I made one yesterday, but it had no reaction."

"How do you make a holy water? Put it in a pot and boil the hell out of it."