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Joke of the Day

"New Mexican word for today: Brief Today, my homie farted so hard, I could barely brief"

"How did ""Hans Solo"" not catch on as an euphemism for masturbation?"

"Why do Klingons feel very little pain? They produce a lot of endworfins."

"What do you get when you cross hot chicks coming and going, a camera, a guy known for his explosion scenes, and a douche? Possible Transformers sequel."

"Why cant the bike stand on its own? Because its two tired."

"""Dad, I cant sleep."" Dad: [enters chugging a Monster] SLEEP IS DEAD. GET A JOB. ""Dad Im seven-"" Dad: SO WERE THE DWARVES BUT THEY HAD JOBS."

"IRISH EATS ITALIAN Q: What does an Irishman get after eating Italian food? A: Gaelic breath."

"Dad do you like baked apples? Yes son why? The orchard's on fire."

"Today I saw a dead baby ghost... Upon reflection, it might have been a handkerchief."

"I hope you guys realize that sunflower seeds are salted little plant babies."