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Joke of the Day

"I met a Wheelchair user yesterday. He's a stand up guy."

"Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of ""going to the gym in 2013."""

"When I found out my toaster wasn't waterproof, I was shocked!"

"Jared Leto's primary preparation for his role as the Joker was changing his middle name to Stil"

"If the Narwhal bacons at midnight, what does it do at noon? It bakes off."

"What's a bad way to stop a pedophile? Tell him to think of the children."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb? Wanna go ride bikes?!?"

"Well, you won't get called a racist for criticizing the President anymore... ...you'll just get called a racist for supporting him."

"Did you hear about the vampire who died of a broken heart? He had loved in vein."

"My cat's dead, can I play with your pussy instead?"