160749

Joke of the Day

"Thank God I still have 20 days to achieve my goal of ""going to the gym in 2013."""

"What do you call an X-Games athlete who placed dead last? A louger."

"What did the clock say to the other clock after she gave him a handjob? now give me a second hand job"

"Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was a fun-gui!"

"CUT, CUT!! [Music stops] LOOK IT'S A WESTERN MUSICAL [Rubs temples] YOU HAVE TO KEEP THE COWBOY HAT ON- [Cat runs off] Meow!"

"What do eagles and moles have in common? They both fly, except for the mole..."

"My friend can't afford to pay his water bill anymore... ...so I sent him a card, ""Get well soon."""

"What's the difference between a mosquito and a blonde? The mosquitos stops sucking after you fucking slap it"

"GB: Brexit was the dumbest thing in the last years! USA: hold my drink!"

"Maybe if you knew Garfield's parents were murdered on a monday by anti lasagna activists you wouldn't be so judgmental."