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Joke of the Day

"How to you tell a naval officer from and RAF officer on an aircraft carrier? The naval officer is trying to feed bread to the helicopters!"

"--Whenever I am down in the dumps, I buy a new hat. --So that's where you get them."

"My wife came out of the shower and said, ""I shaved ""down there"". You know what that means?"" I said, ""Yeah you clogged the drain again."""

"Wanna know why donald trump considers my penis a muslim? Because i bomb the pussy"

"Not to brag, but I have the high score on 7 different blood pressure machines around the city. *enters initials"

"Peter Pan and the Lost Boys are actually the souls of aborted kids That explains Captain Hook"

"What did Buddha say to the Pizza guy? ""Make me one with everything."""

"What does a ghost drink? Boo's."

"I got burned by a piece of metal on my pants when I pulled them from the dryer. It was a hot button issue."

"A kid at the park said a giant hemorrhoid is heading toward Earth. I know he misspoke but in the closing days of 2016 one can't be too sure."