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Joke of the Day
"Counted five pregnant women at this Noah matinee. Praying their water doesn't break."
Next Joke
"How do Mexicans cut their pizza? Little Ceasars"
"Dear diary, My date got really excited when I said I wanted to cook for him. Apparently Meth wasn't what he expected. Dating is bull shit"
"What's the difference between a lawyer and a whore?` None. They both fuck people for a living."
"Oh you're in the shower? Here's the seven worst songs from your playlist. - shuffle mode"
"How do you make all the terrorists in one room convert to rationalism. Air condition the room."
"Does anyone have the address for starving kids in Africa? Our daughter doesn't want her waffle fries."
"An anagram of Ellen Poe is Allen Poe.. Quoth the Reddit...nevermore"
"What goes oh oh oh? Santa walking backwards."
"Starbucks needs a separate line for people who say ""um"""