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Joke of the Day

"What do a homeless woman and an American football player have in common? They both take their pads off after four periods"

"Freaking out people walking round the cemetery dressed as a Ghostbuster."

"A black guy, an illegal alien, a Muslim, and a communist walk into a bar... The bartender asks, ""What can I get you Mr. President?"" ;-P"

"ithink that show 'Americas got Talent' should be renamed to 'Americas got Some Talent, & Alot of Crazy Motherfuckers!'"

"What do you do if somebody dies Christmas Eve? Wait 12 hours and have Christmas Mourning"

"Just once I want to wake up to something exciting. *Wakes up next to spider crawling on pillow."

"Why did the blond climb over the glass wall? To see what was on the other side."

"""Oh, my, god. Becky, look at her butt!"" ""DOCTOR PLEASE SHE IS CODING! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!"""

"Why can't you eat soup in the Matrix... Because there is no spoon...."

"I asked my wife why she never tells me when she has an orgasm... She said ""I don't like ringing you whilst you're at work."""