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Joke of the Day

"What do black guys have that's longer than most white men's and gets even bigger when they touch a woman? Their criminal record."

"While I appreciate your enthusiasm, auto flush toilet, I kinda wanted to see that."

"Q: Which way did the programmer go? A: He went DATA way!"

"Why should you never order the eggs while in France? Because they are always uf."

"Whenever I'm on the phone with someone I like to scream WAIT DON'T HANG UP right as they're hanging up & then not answer when they call back"

"So I called my urologist... Receptionist: ""Can you hold?"" Me: ""No...that's why I'm calling"""

"12 yr. old daughter: My friend Samantha said she thinks you're handsome. Me: Aww. That's cute. How about her mom? Has she said anything?"

"Did you hear about the constipated Mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil."

"My girlfriend said she wanted to experiment a bit in the bedroom we synthesised a new protein chain"

"People who genetically engineer food, why don't you make celery that tastes like Reese's Peanut Butter Cups? I bet that would shut people up"