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Joke of the Day

"Satoru Iwata is in a much better place... ... he's with Nintendo."

"Cheated on Twitter with my real life today."

"Teacher: Why do you want to work in a bank Alan? Fred: 'Cuz there's money in it sir."

"Old joke, now with new offensive punchline. My grandfather died at Auschwitz. He had a heart attack while raping a 12 year old Jewish girl."

"Why can't Ray Charles drive? He's dead."

"Your dog is better than your wife. Don't believe me? Lock them both in your trunk for an hour and then see who's happy when you open it."

"Sorry, Australia... Overheard my sister talking to my friend when this was said. Sis: ""Do they have bush babies in Australia""? Friend: ""No, but they have plenty of dead babies in the bush""."

"Just saw a man wearing a pager. Apparently, he's expecting a very important call from someone in 1994."

"Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day.... Let him out of your basement and he can go back to his family."

"If your wife is shouting at the front door and your dog is barking at the back door, who do you let in first? The dog, of course. At least he'll shut up after you let him in."