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Joke of the Day

"If I ever wake up on Christmas Day and there's a Mercedes outside with a giant ribbon on it, I'm gonna assume it has an ignition bomb"

"What do you get when you drop a piano on a toddler? A flat minor"

"Making Zombies Moist delete"

"There is a fine line between the numerator and the denominator Only a fraction of people will get this."

"Q: What is hail? A: Hard-boiled rain."

"Have you guys heard about the new internet milk? It's for cereal."

"How did the native find his sister in the woods? Pretty good!"

"What's long, hard and covered in blood? The Boston Marathon!"

"Irish Nessie Over in Ireland, in a lake near Dublin, thay have their own Nessie. It's a monster that likes to ring doorbells. It's a knock-less monster."

"Got caught smelling my sisters underwear yesterday. Made the rest of her funeral very fucking awkward."