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Joke of the Day

"What's long, hard and covered in blood? The Boston Marathon!"

"I've just been to the hospital where the doctor told me my DNA was backwards. And?"

"Truth in advertising #1: Burger King- Your actually having it our way, and our way consists of making you fat."

"I introduced my friend to my first wife. She said she was actually going to divorce me if I kept calling her that."

"Yes, life is meaningless, but some of the food is decent."

"A man orders soup at a restaurant. The waiter sets his plate down and he sees a fly in the bowl... So he asks the waiter, ""What's this fly doing in my soup?"" The waiter responds, ""The backstroke."""

"Harry and Jerry Harry is at home and his door is locked. Jerry come in Harry says, ""Who are you and how did you get here"" Jerry says, ""I'm a locksmith and I'm a locksmith"""

"I was an unpopular child I got beat up a lot at school, but even though my teachers couldn't stop the beatings, they did give me a gym credit for them."

"""Where do people already feel awkward & uncomfortable?"" ""Church?"" ""K let's make 'em like that"" -- funeral home designers"

"The twin towers is the best LOTR movie in the franchise"