61662
Joke of the Day
"I don't know many football players except... The one with the Messi hair"
Next Joke
"Twitter can be like talking to crazy homeless people through protective glass."
"Any salad can be a Caesar salad. You just need to stab it enough times."
"there is something good about pedophiles... ...they make a kick-ass cocoa!"
"whenever I think of the happy birthday song I imagine someone softly crying and singing it under their breath, blowing out a candle alone"
"Still waiting for #WTF! Friday where we all list people whose popularity is a mystery to us."
"Hi, my name is USA, and I am... addicted to starting wars in Muslim countries. This is my first meeting and I'm a little nervous."
"*toddler screaming in car seat* Husband: Sounds like someone needs a nap when we get home. Me: I know. Totally. Wake me up around 4?"
"I've been waiting 2 hours for an employee to come and wash my hands like the sign says...."
"Your Mom is like Planet 9... very distant from the sun"