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Joke of the Day

"whenever I think of the happy birthday song I imagine someone softly crying and singing it under their breath, blowing out a candle alone"

"I was having sex with my girlfriend when I felt a weird tap on my shoulder... I hate having sex in the bath."

"Lebron James quits basketball to become an actor And he's taking his talents to Hollywood"

"Just because nobody complains Doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect."

"Two muffins are in an oven The first one says, ""Boy, it sure is hot in here."" The second one says, ""Oh my god, it's a talking muffin!"""

"What's dad's best one-liner? ""My wife."""

"whats the secret service of Australia called? M8"

"Everyone quits smoking when they die, which sucks cause dying is a really stressful event that would be helped quite a bit by a cigarette."

"""We choose to go to the moon not because it is easy... ...but because it is cheesy."""

"I know 3 jokes about cheese... But none of them are as gouda 'dis one."