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Joke of the Day

"""WHAT DO WE WANT?"" ""Hearing aids."" ""WHEN DO WE WANT THEM?"" ""Hearing aids."""

"Toilets are really just fart amplifiers when you are trying to be quiet."

"I'm leaving for London tomorrow. It's going to be really weird Tweeting from the left hand side of the road."

"My neighbours just submitted a petition that I stop setting traps for stray pigs after I caught my 16th police man today."

"Is it okay for men to sit down to pee? The manager of this sofa store doesn't seem to think so."

"To Brie or not to Brie. That is the queso."

"Why is Mortal Kombat X popular among SJWs? Because it has the Block Button. *cue the flames*"

"Why did the coke dealer retire? He was tired of putting his business in other peoples' noses"

"Q: Did you hear that it is twice as easy to train Iraqi fighter pilots? A: You only have to teach them to take off."

"Women dream of world peace a safe environment and eliminating hunger. What do men dream of? Being stuck in a lift with the Spice girls."