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Joke of the Day

"I'm leaving for London tomorrow. It's going to be really weird Tweeting from the left hand side of the road."

"A retired sergeant was asked: ""Well how do you like civilian life?"" ""Terrible"" he said gruffly ""all those people around and nobody in charge!"""

"French and Wars Why did the French have so many civil wars? So they could win one."

"Children in the backseat cause accidents. But accidents in the backseat cause children."

"what do cats and menstruating girls have in common? Both on the rag"

"*writing suicide letter Goodbye cruel world. Your going to really miss me when I'm gone... Cat: *you're"

"Whenever I go to McDonalds, they always ask me ""What can I get you?"" and I always say ""Give me a second."" And they always give me the number two."

"Pokemon GO servers are like my life right now. Up and down and disappointing anyone who knows what it is."

"What do you get if you play a country music song backwards? You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back..."

"What happened to the man in crutches when he heard a punny joke he couldn't bear to stand it."