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Joke of the Day

"Death by chickpea... What do you call it when a chickpea smashes another one to death? Hummuscide Thanks, I'm out."

"Knock Knock... Who's there? To. To who? To whom*"

"I saw an image of Jesus in my breakfast burrito. I asked myself, what would Jesus do? And so I ate him. Two hours later... Holy Shit!"

"The dream of a every man with a fat belly... Is to just look down and be able to see his willy."

"Hate to be nosey, people in the hallway, but you're too effing loud and yes, that mole should be looked at."

"Actual Mechanical Advantage(AMA)"

"One day I hope to be rich enough where I don't feel compelled to refill my fountain soda before I leave a fast food establishment."

"Why did all the black people die in the war? Because when they captain said, ""GET DOWN!"" They all started dancing.."

"WOMAN: pls help, theres a man outside terrorizing me 911: haha aww that just means he likes you MURDERER (at window): HEY SHUT UP I DO NOT"

"All I'm saying is if I'm not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign."