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Joke of the Day

"Death by chickpea... What do you call it when a chickpea smashes another one to death? Hummuscide Thanks, I'm out."

"""If you woke up with Vaseline up your butt would you tell anybody?"" ""Um No"" ""Wanna go camping?"""

"Why r/Jokes has too much tiny jokes? Thus you can move on to the next one faster"

"2 dads walk into a bar... One turns to the other and says ""that hurt""."

"How many portuguese people can fit on a scooter? A Brazilian"

"The astrophysics class I wanted to take filled up. Now I need to figure out what other course will work for my schedule and major. It's not rocket science."

"How many women are necessary to change a lightbulb? One... but, what does it matter if she will ask a man to do it?!"

"*Submits synonymosaur as an alternate word for thesaurus *Waits for Nobel Peace Prize"

"The official dance for my new mixtape has 3 steps... Stop, drop, and roll!"

"Chief: You're the WORST cop in the department! Hand over your gun and badge! Me: *realising I left both in my son's crib* Uhhhhh...."