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Joke of the Day

"What does a terrorist and a soccer player have in common? Mossack Fonseca."

"Your Mum's so Mean she doesn't even have a standard deviation."

"My favorite form of lying to myself is choosing a deodorant scent that contains the words 'active' or 'sport' in it's name."

"In Connecticut it is illegal... To hang a man with a wooden leg. You have to use a rope just like everywhere else"

"NSFW what does a suicide bomber need virgins for i read that suicide bombers get offered a bunch of virgins in heaven but whats a pile of mince meat going to do with them in heaven anyway."

"[Arguing with a guy over who's tougher] *takes toothpick from mouth* ""When I started chewing this it was a full grown spruce."""

"Life is like a bed of roses. You just have to watch out for the pricks."

"Why are shopaholics so hard to help? They can be very ""clothes""-minded about the problem."

"What's the difference between an oral and anal thermometer? The taste"

"Ladies, if you love a man, set him free. If he comes back he will be yours forever. If he doesn't, the new chick probably squirts or does anal."