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Joke of the Day

"Guys, don't worry, the glass ceiling already broke 78 years ago! It was called Kristallnacht."

"Depresso; the feeling you get when you've run out of coffee."

"You know what I love about cafeterias? Everything they serve is an entree. WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB"

"I'm throwing myself a circumcision party tomorrow, so anybody with a scalpel and a steady hand, stop on by. Jews welcome only with gift."

"Hey guys, I invented a new word! Plagiarism"

"Sometimes I wonder how people who don't have kids get their TV remotes from the other side of the room."

"Two wrongs don't make a right. But 3 lefts do."

"I bet the kids who TP'd my yard last night and didn't know that toilet paper was on my grocery list, feel pretty stupid right about now"

"It's awesome that 4th of July is in the summer. But it sucks for countries like Australia who have to watch fireworks in the winter. SUKAZ!"

"My girlfriend said, ""We should make love like they do in the movies."" So I shoved my dick in her ass and came on her face. She got upset. Apparently we watch different movies."