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Joke of the Day
"Q: How do small people call each other? A: On microphones."
Next Joke
"I had a near-life experience...I nearly quit Facebook."
"WIFE: What're you doing in the garage? ME: I made a cloning machine. WIFE: Don't do anything stupid. OTHER ME: Like what?"
"When you go to the dentist, Reddit... Don't cheetohn your diet!"
"It's so hot I just saw two trees fighting over a dog."
"here's a cool tip for beating the heat this summer: don't go outside ever there's guys who will bring you pizza dumbass"
"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, just like my uncle Charlie Not kicking and screaming like the passengers on his bus"
"Do you know the difference between a dildo and a chair? No? Watch out where you sit then."
"I've slowly replaced sex with food... and now I can't even get into my own pants."
"Drug mules carry cannabis up their asses. That shit is dope."