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Joke of the Day

"Do you know the difference between a dildo and a chair? No? Watch out where you sit then."

"Bathrooms have Changed from being a Singing Studio, to a Photo Studio."

"What do you call a vegetarian with diarrhea? Salad shooter."

"Before scientists discovered... Before scientists discovered that the ""I before E except after C"" rule wasn't universal, they were called sceintists."

"Just watched my wedding video backwards - Loved the part where I took off the ring, left the church, and fucked off with my friends"

"I miss being in a relationship. Could 1 of you girls come over here and yell at me, treat me like shi t and not sleep with me? It might help."

"Oh my god Becky look at her roast beef sandwich"

"[lays down] Me: Feels so good to close my eyes. Brain: We should think about a fire evacuation plan."

"Sleeping in central park Is it going too far to equate my experience sleeping in central park to being a Jewish person in nazi germany..."

"What's the difference between a very old shaggy Yeti and a dead bee? One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee."