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Joke of the Day

"Why did Yoda need a stepladder in the chocolate shop? Because he was reaching for a galaxy far, far away."

"The thing that sucks about hanging out with my friends is that they see how much I stare at my phone and know how little I answer their texts."

"Seems hypocritcal that we allow women who could be on there period at any given time on TV,but we make fun of a man 4 a fart, goes both ways"

"The parents with the ugliest babies take and post the most pictures."

"What do you get when you cross an insomniac with an agnostic and a dyslexic? A person who stays up at night, wondering if there's a dog."

"Farmer vs Prostitue What is the difference between a corn farmer with epilepsy and a prostitute with diarrhea? One shucks between fits"

"What's an idealist vegetarian's favorite meal? Peas and hominy"

"[impatiently yells] ""What do I have to do to get a margarita around here??"" And that's when I got kicked out of Dairy Queen."

"Such a hassle that you have to rob a skier before you can rob a 7-Eleven"

"Why couldn't the fun guy go in the elevator? There wasn't mush-room."