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Joke of the Day

"What is long and hard that women don't have compulsorily? The military service."

"Found an old Tom Jones CD and my underwear drawer flew wide open and all my undies threw themselves at my stereo."

"People keep telling me that I have a higher chance of getting mugged in London than in New York. Well, what do they expect, I don't live in New York."

"A clearly exhausted Pao walks into a pub and orders a drink.... The bartender asks ""long day?"" ""No, all days are 24 hours long"" Pao replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is."

"Why did the chicken cross the road? As a child, you could have been anything. And one by one, you didn't become any of them."

"The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes."

"What do you call 50 feminists on a bus? Trick Question. You can't fit 50 feminists on a bus."

"Want to hear a good construction joke? I'm working on it."

"A good metaphor for today's youth is the book Peter Pan... Kids sneak out. Get high on dust together. Beat up handicapped man, and steal his boat."

"[Job Interview] Sir, it says here you're part of a small group of criminals that primarily kills interviewersoohhhhmygod"