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Joke of the Day

"A clearly exhausted Pao walks into a pub and orders a drink.... The bartender asks ""long day?"" ""No, all days are 24 hours long"" Pao replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is."

"Alcohol is not in my vodkabulary. However, I looked it up on whiskeypedia and learned if you drink too much of it, it's likely tequilya."

"What do magistrates have with their water? Just ice."

"Want to take the wind out of my sails? Walk past my table at the restaurant with what I thought was my meal."

"Me: Now what's the rule, son? 11yo: *sighs* If his first album came out after 2000, I can't call him a rapper. Me: You're learning..."

"I was at the theatre seeing a tragedy and the man behind me started wailing. I got hit in the head with a harpoon."

"I Enjoyed Your Joke, soue13, I've Also Come Up With One. At Age 25.. Did you guys hear about the dried grape at the party last night? He was really RAISIN the roof!"

"Whats white and likes to shoot? Kevin Nash"

"What makes a ghost happy? An elevator. It lifts the spirits."

"This Walmart is advertising $9.99 iPads to anyone who throws their baby into a snakepit."