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Joke of the Day

"People keep telling me that I have a higher chance of getting mugged in London than in New York. Well, what do they expect, I don't live in New York."

"My cardboard girlfriend fell apart when I came all over her. I don't think she was cut out for that kind of thing."

"A decepticon is a just a cheeky emoticon at the end of a message intended to excuse the sender and confuse the recipient. Ex: Please die ;)"

"Before meeting a hot chick, wish I could talk to the dude who's sick of her bullshit."

"Date: So, what are you passionate about? Me: Haha, have you heard of gravy?"

"[as a kid] Can't wait to grow up and make my own decisions! [now] Why did I think this would be fun"

"In ""Captain Sully"", technically speaking, Tom Hanks did not fly a plane on to the Hudson River That was falling with style"

"A guy thing. pp"

"The final death of 2016.... Mariah Carey's live performance career"

"Did you hear the one they don't tell retards? NO? Oh well never mind then."