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Joke of the Day

"Tony the Tiger knows that Chuck Norris is G-R-E-A-T!"

"Papa why is it that dentists call their offices dental parlors?"" ""Because they are drawing-rooms my son."""

"Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say ""I am beautiful"", which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense."

"My last job was circumcising elephants The pay wasn't great but the tips were huge."

"What do you call a one-legged asian woman? Irene"

"If I ever wanted to kill myself... climbing up your ego and jumping down to your IQ level would get the job done."

"I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out I ask the guy who is running the gym, ""Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies?"" He smiles says ""Try the ATM in the lobby""."

"""Can I pet your dog?"" ""Sure, but he can be aggressive."" [He pushes a pamphlet about the dangers of gluten towards me with his nose]"

"Why did the blonde keep coat hangers under her seat? In case she locks her keys in her car."

"Why was Homer Simpson in such a rush to get to the Kwik-E-Mart? He desperately needed Apu."