108840

Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Today, we're going to talk about the tenses. Now, if I say ""I am beautiful"", which tense is it? Student: Obviously it is the past tense."

"I'm not a jealous person but seriously, if you star her tweets one more time I'm going to squeeze the balls of this vodoo doll so hard..."

"A math teacher ask his students, ""What is 5Q + 5Q?"" The class responds, ""10Q."" The teacher responds, ""You're welcome/"""

"You know what the last thing my grandfather said before he kicked the bucket ""How far you think I can kick this bucket"""

"Why do black people eat fried chicken? Because it tastes good."

"Instead of saying you lost your eyesight due to an explosion while you were making meth, just tell people that you were blinded by science."

"Hoe many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Swan."

"Why can't there be peace in the Middle East? It IS what it IS."

"In Dublin, a very nervous Liam brings his girlfriend to meet his father for the first time. Liam (to father): This is Amanda Father: A fooking WHAT!?"

"What do you call an old-school CIA agent who believes his work is none of the public's goddamn business? A Pte-redact-yl"