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Joke of the Day

"I went to an Anglican church recently... They do communion a little bit differently there. You just walk up, kneel down, and the priest sticks it in your mouth."

"Sent a tweet with a typo. Deleted it and now I'm gonna be bummed about until mid June."

"My dad beat my brother when he showed him his report card. So, I gave my report card to my mother. Let her take the beating."

"Did you hear about the shortsighted circumciser? He got the sack."

"So They Cancelled Halloween In India This Year. They ran out of Ghandi."

"NASA recently confirmed what I've always suspected ...even Mars has more flow than Kanye West."

"Doctor doctor I've got a little sty. Then you'd better buy a little pig."

"I've matured a lot. For example, I used to listen to Fall Out Boy and break stuff, but now I listen to Mozart and break stuff"

"7: mommy can I play on your computer? Me: later 7: what do you mean by later? Me: I'm hoping you forget."

"Why do hipsters prefer to drink their PBR warm? So that they can say they liked it before it was cool."