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Joke of the Day

"I tried phone sex last night Safe to say, I would prefer if you didn't call me during working hours until it goes flat."

"Michael Phelps will be the flag bearer for the 2016 USA Olympic Team I hope he holds our flag high."

"Arguing with a woman is like being attacked by a bear... You're better off playing dead and hoping they get bored and walk away!"

"I heard Plexiglass coffins are making a comeback, but... Remains to be seen."

"What kind of disease do you get from birds? Chirpes. It's a canarial disease, and I hear it's untweetable."

"I met a guy who said he was a test tube baby. I said, groovy, daddy-o."

"What did the beef broth say to the chicken broth? What flavor au jus?"

"No one in my entire life has believed in me more than the waiter who just gave me a single napkin to use while eating my lunch"

"Unless you're a direct descendent of a horse, don't chew with your mouth open."

"My daughter just asked me about UpBro! Lol Can you believe it?"