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Joke of the Day

"I love when people say ""If people hate you, it only means you're doing something right."" Because that's what Hitler would say."

"An impressed man and his friend. Man: ""'Wow, you're omniscient!"" Friend: ""What does that mean?"" Man: ""Nevermind."""

"A motor gets a job as a waiter... Servo A motor buys a treadmill. Stepper. An artistic motor loses its paint kit. Brushless."

"....and that's how I ended up laying on the bedroom floor with a potato stuck in my ass."

"In honor of women's day I would like to honestly say that...."" Life with out you ladies would literally be a pain in the ass"""

"Bring a Knife on a Date! When I see lovers' names carved in a tree, I don't think it's sweet. I just think it's surprising how many people bring a knife on a date."

"My angry wife left me after she said "".. eat shit and die! "" And all I said was: ""So dinner is ready?""."

"Donald Trump can't take any criticism... At this point he's such a pussy about it he may as well just grab himself."

"Why didn't Jesus start a charity? Cuz they're not for prophets."

"Girls can be so ungrateful sometimes... I made breakfast in bed for her and instead of saying ""Thank you"", she was all shouty like ""How the hell did you get in my house...?"""