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Joke of the Day

"A woman walks into a bar with a duck under her arm Nice pig says the bartender. It's a duck she says. I was talking to the duck says the bartender."

"Name That Tune My school had a ""Name that Tune"" activity for the staff, and they had sound trouble so there was silence. I shouted out ""John Cage!"" and no one laughed."

"I'm a 40 yr old man sitting at a Cafe with my eyes closed, squirting packets of mayo from under the table at the window as people walk by."

"What does a cat say when he likes something? It's purrrfect."

"What's the leader of north korea's wife wear when she's not in the mood? a Kimono"

"I hate people who use big words just to make themselves look perspicacious."

"If your girlfriend starts smoking... Slow down and try using some lube!"

"While I'm shopping at Costco my kids wait by the exit and try to get adopted by a wealthy family."

"Someone stole my coffee cup from work today. Just off down the police station now to look at a few mug shots."

"A vegan, cross fitters, and yoga person sit down for dinner And nobody says a word."