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Joke of the Day

"Name That Tune My school had a ""Name that Tune"" activity for the staff, and they had sound trouble so there was silence. I shouted out ""John Cage!"" and no one laughed."

"This may be not be a mainstream opinion, but I don't believe you should cut down a Christmas tree unless you intend on eating it."

"thought I was watching Twilight for 45 min then I realized I was in an alley watching a dog bark at a dead cat next to some cardboard."

"'Sorry officer but how was I to know that weird noise my car was making was a bicycle stuck in my mudflap?'"

"Q: What's the difference between Personal Injury lawyers and Congress? A: No fee--If No Recovery!"

"A guy walks into a bar Ouch."

"I know you've been looking at porn if you're staring at the Google homepage when I walk in."

"What do you call a deer with no eyes? I have no eye deer. What do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs. I still have no eye deer."

"Who should we vote for the next president? Gabe Newell. There will never be a World War 3."

"Kraft recalled 96,000 pounds of cheese-filled hot dogs. I recall 96,000 pounds of cheese-filled hot dogs too. That was one wild summer."