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Joke of the Day

"God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change cuz I don't want to get up and find the remote."

"3 rings of marriage 1) Engagement Ring 2) Wedding Ring 3) SuffeRing"

"There are 2 types of people in the world The ones who can count."

"I just bough t a new pair of sunglasses... So anytime I make a bad pun, I'm gonna put them on and *puts on sunglasses* Look cool."

"[VIDEO] Cristiano screams like a goat https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=elOlE-wEpoE&feature=youtu.be CR7 screaming like a goat, enjoy"

"I'm just hoping Angelina Jolie hooks-up with Val Kilmer... the ""Vagelina"" headlines would be priceless!"

"I now have an EpiPen My friend gave it to me when he was dying. It seemed really important that I have it, I will cherish forever."

"""Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road, please?"" Oh. Yea. Good thinkin'. Can't be too careful. A lot of bad drivers out there."

"What's grey and comes in buckets? An elephant!"

"I'm a straight white guy who gets sad and is terrified of intimacy. Give me my own show! I am so unique!!!!!!"