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Joke of the Day

"I just saw Jurassic World... It was DINO-mite!!! A'thank you, I'll show myself out."

"You're ""gluten free?"" How nice. I'm mostly ""money free"" so I can't be so fuckin' picky."

"5/6 people agree... ...that Russian Roulette is a great way to gamble."

"Patrick Star is so clueless It's like he lives under a rock or something"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Buckle ! Buckle who ? Buckle get you a drink but not much else !"

"I had a job interview today, the interviewer asked me where I saw myself in 5 years. Luckily, I have 2020 vision."

"""*RING**RING* in the middle Of night! ""Hello?"" ""Hey man are you home?"" ""No dude i just picked up my house phone from Burger King."""

"Wonder when that family from Russia is going to realize I took a selfie instead of a photo of them standing in front of the Chinese Theatre."

"I don't Bolivia Peru-v it."

"my fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that i lied about on my drivers license"