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Joke of the Day

"Wonder when that family from Russia is going to realize I took a selfie instead of a photo of them standing in front of the Chinese Theatre."

"A skeleton goes to the bar and says ""Can I have a pint and a mop..."""

"""Sir, I need to ask you to please stop spanking your monkey. This is a bank."" ""Fine, but I'm never coming here again. Come on, George."""

"What did the mouse say when his friend broke his front teeth? Hard cheese."

"When she texts ""I Love You""... but Auto-correct changes it to ""who is this"""

"I just saw a raccoon get hit by a Smart Car. The poor lil fella suffered a sprained ankle."

"What do grapefruit and vaginas have in common? The pinker the better and they're both an acquired taste."

"I like my women how I like my file paper. Ruled, and punched twice near the spine to keep them in line."

"So, so very handsome If sex between three people is a threesome. And sex between two people is a twosome. Then...I guess I know why everybody calls me handsome."

"The PC term for Christmas C:\hristmas"