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Joke of the Day

"A grasshopper walks into a bar . . . A grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartender: Ya know, we have a drink named after you! Grasshopper: You have a drink named Steve?"

"If you ever find yourself being attacked by a gang of clowns... ...go for the juggler."

"I took a ""Paint with Wine"" class. The instructor was really impressed with how well I handled my wine."

"""They had to amputate them both at the ankles,"" said Tom, defeated."

"I don't see why people are outraged when Donald Trump says if Ivanka wasn't his daughter, he'd be dating her. After all, if Ivanka wasn't Trump's daughter, I'd date her too."

"Voldemort's parents took the ""I got your nose"" game a little to seriously."

"My psychiatrist says we need to work on my intimacy issues but then he's always the one who refuses to snuggle with me on his couch."

"What's the difference between Jesus and a vagina? A vagina is still good after a couple of nails"

"First thing this morning, there was a tap on my door... My plumber sure has a strange sense of humor..."

"What did batman say to robin? Q. What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. ""Get in the car, Robin"" Source http://badkidsjokes.tumblr.com/"