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Joke of the Day

"Who the hell invented Bull Riding? ""Hey, I'm gonna hop on that 2,000 pound pissed off animal...Time me!!!"""

"What do you call a display of Australian patriotism? Stockholm Syndrome."

"How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus? Ten tickles"

"A girl approaches a guy... Girl: Do you drink? Guy: No. Girl: Do you do drugs? Guy: No. Girl: Do you watch porn? Guy: No. Girl: Then how do you have fun? Guy: I lie to people."

"Sometimes, when I think about books I touch my shelf"

"If you see someone over the age of 9 wearing sweatpants, pull them aside & say ""Friend, you're wearing sweatpants."" They might not know."

"You guys, how can true love still exist if we don't have mixed tapes anymore?"

"Apple is working on an electronic seeing device for the Navy It's going to be called the I-Eye Captain"

"When you tell someone that you're asexual... You then have two people who do not give a fuck."

"smart husband Wife: honey, can i hold henry? (their new baby) Husband: wait until he cries. Wife: why?? Husband: because i cant find him!!!!!!"