211909

Joke of the Day

"A girl approaches a guy... Girl: Do you drink? Guy: No. Girl: Do you do drugs? Guy: No. Girl: Do you watch porn? Guy: No. Girl: Then how do you have fun? Guy: I lie to people."

"Two fish in a tank... One says to the other ""how the hell do you drive this thing?!"""

"On my birthday my wife suggested I have a threesome... My wife suggested for my birthday I have a threesome. I replied ""Do I get to pick both girls?"" And then the fight started..."

"My girlfriend needs an abortion.... And Mexico is gonna pay for it."

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandpa, Not screaming and on fire like his passengers"

"I spent all day replacing the muffler on my car It was exhausting"

"I am only drinking 2 beers tonight, but in dog beers."

"How does an Argentinean commit suicide? He climbs up on his ego and then jumps off."

"Trying to make a collage for my preschooler's art project using magazine cut-outs, but I keep ending up with ransom notes."

"Good effort but we all know you're the ugly one in your two person profile picture."