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Joke of the Day
"*Magneto flapping his wrist frantically, trying to shake loose a fork stuck to his hand*"
Next Joke
"What do sailors eat for breakfast? Naval oranges"
"I like my coffee Like I like my women Strong and free!"
"What's the worst thing about being a professional alligator wrestler? You have to start off by being an amateur alligator wrestler."
"I hate forensic TV shows like CSI. I know for a fact that they are completely unrealistic... I mean come on, women detectives?"
"Why does Karl Marx hate earl grey? Because all proper tea is theft."
"my gang colors are taupe and beige"
"Never underestimate the power of a hug. Or a slap upside the head. Whatever works."
"When listening to skinny girls talk about losing weight it's perfectly reasonable to battle cry then karate chop their tiny stomach's."
"Daniel Day-Lewis is so method that in preparation for the role of Abraham Lincoln in 'Lincoln' he spent ten months on the side of a penny."