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Joke of the Day
"How did the Jewish terrorist die? Hebrew up."
Next Joke
"Wife: ""Ian is coming over."" Me: ""Ian from work or Ian who is good at disguises?"" Wife: ""Ian- *pulls off mask* -who is good at disguises!"""
"I used to live in New Orleans till Katrina took everything I had. Sometimes I wish she'd stayed in Latvia."
"What do vegan zombies eat? ~Graaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnsssssss"
"Have you ever seen Ted Cruz and the Zodiac Killer in the same room? Me neither."
"There was a groping incident at work. I apologized but they fired me anyways."
"What do Plains Native Americans have in common with moderately sized sea dwelling mammals? For all in tents and porpoises, they're constantly moving."
"Coworker: I couldn't sleep. Just thinking all night Me: Maybe try doing some of that here in the office during the day"
"Not to brag but I'm one of those people who can eat whatever she wants and still gain a concerning amount of weight."
"Why do Japanese people look so serious in pictures? Last time they saw a flash it destroyed their country"