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Joke of the Day

"A Higgs Boson walks into a church and the priest shouts ""Hey we dont allow Higgs Bosons here!"" Higgs Boson replied ""But without me how can you have mass?"""

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the Cock was on the other side!"

"Just saw a poor girl crying in the library, devastated about something. So I pulled up a chair, leaned in and said ""You can shut up or go outside, I've got an exam tomorrow""."

"I just murdered a tree and put its decorated corpse on display in my living room. For Jesus."

"With a calendar, your days are numbered."

"Me: What's with the look? Hub: How would you like a full-service massage? Me: I would, but will you and the kids be okay while I'm gone?"

"Someone told me they were getting colored contacts, and I said ""aren't all their eyes just brown?"" that was a complete misunderstanding."

"I was homeschooled so my back to school pics were of me standing in front of the house before I went back inside."

"I love to post jokes while crossing the stre"

"I met a new girl in work today, and she was a vegan I've never seen herbivore"