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Joke of the Day

"How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem? ""Oh secant, you say?"""

"What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes? Pricks are on the outside of the porcupine."

"What car does Woody drive? AUDI ADUI ADUI!"

"Why does the zoo only have dogs? Because they shot the gorilla"

"Where do pirates go in the summer? In ARRgentina."

"My dad I never wanted to believe that my Dad was stealing from his job as a road worker. But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"We're sorry, the number you have dialed... 911 has been changed to a non-published number. Please make a note of it."

"What is flat, at the center of the universe, and warming?"

"St. Valentine's day Two blondes chat: ""What you gonna do on St. Valentine's day?"" ""What day is it?"" ""Friday."" ""Shepherd's Pie."""

"Commas make all the difference He was fucking up, until the end. He was fucking, up until the end."