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Joke of the Day

"How did the dyslexic American mathematician sing the first line of his national anthem? ""Oh secant, you say?"""

"Who's Leonardo Dicaprio's least favorite Sesame Street character? Oscar im so sorry"

"I tried to learn how to play the drums. but i'm just a beat off."

"Why are gametes used in big marketing campaigns? Because sex cells"

"My wife's resting in the garden. Well, at rest."

"How did the toilet paper beat the asshole in the election? With a smear campaign."

"Abstinence-only education... Was the first time I got screwed."

"[leans against bus stop as bus approaches & winks at girl waiting] I could easily afford to get on that if I wanted to."

"Did you hear about the girl with twelve nipples? Sounds weird, dozen tit?"

"Why did Germany hold a ceremony for the Greek bankruptcy? They wanted to give credit where credit was due."