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Joke of the Day

"Are rape jokes funny in this subreddit? I wouldn't want to do anything if you guys said NO."

"I heard One Direction released a new album recently... ...it's titled ""Ray"""

"Teacher: Ants can lift things that are heavier than they are Kid: How can a thing be heavier than it is? T: No-[sees it's almost 3 pm] Magic"

"Do you remember those old romantic movies where the guy would lay his coat down in a puddle for the woman? WALK AROUND THE FUCKING PUDDLE."

"Who did the dyslexic devil worshipper sell his soul to? Santa"

"Why is auto correct regarded as an important invention? Because it's mage tipping berry ready for us. Obligatory edit: very easy for us"

"A man says to his wife, ""I bet you can't tell me something that will make me both happy and sad."" She thinks for a minute then replies, ""you have the biggest penis out of all your friends."""

"What is a goal keepers favourite snack ? Beans on post !"

"I hate when you forget to wear a belt and have to shoot heroin using the blood pressure machine at walgreens."

"How do you know your S&M partner works in IT? They insist your safe word has an upper case letter, a lower case letter, and at least one number."