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Joke of the Day

"Why is auto correct regarded as an important invention? Because it's mage tipping berry ready for us. Obligatory edit: very easy for us"

"When a soldier goes sentimental, his favorite band will be Guns'N'Roses."

"Spandex is sausage casing for humans."

"Are you a singularity? Not only are you attractive, but the closer I get to you, the faster time seems to slip by."

"Why do ghosts eat more sandwiches than bears? Because there's more sandwiches in your fridge. };)"

"Am sorry boss, I know I said I'd do that report this morning. But the girl next to me on the train was wearing a short skirt, & I forgot I even had a job."

"Latvian Joke Bus full of priests come to Latvia, spread word of God. One priest ask Latvian man ""Where is children?"" Latvian man respond ""Children is dead from childbirth."" Bus leave."

"What happened to Han when Chewie wouldn't do the marathon? He Ran Solo..."

"How do you get a nun pregnant? Dress her up like an altarboy"

"*whispers to businessman sleeping next to me on bus* Sleep tight precious angel"