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Joke of the Day

"Two condoms are walking down the street... And they pass a gay bar. One condom turns to the other and asks ""hey wanna get shit faced?"""

"Q: What connects the computers in Sauron's office? A: A Tolkien Ring network."

"I make my children listen to people like Pink Floyd and Bob Marley so they learn the difference between Chris Brown and music."

"If someone's embarrassed just tell them an astronaut did the same thing. For example, ""It's ok, Buzz Aldren once shit himself in an Arby's"""

"What happens when you smoke pot in Saudi Arabia? You get stoned."

"What's the difference between a ginger and a brick? A brick gets laid."

"Replacing facebook with Twitter is a bit like replacing caffeine with heroin"

"Apparently you can't make a baby by adding water to baby powder, so don't waste your time."

"A joke so absolutely filthy I can't put it in the title Rio Olympics"

"My 8 yr old just asked me how the first microchip was built at the exact time I was wondering what other animals got sweaty armpits."