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Joke of the Day
"Why can't they teach drivers ed on the same day as sex ed in Egypt? Wears out the camel."
Next Joke
"Siri, what kind of candy is in that van?"
"My girlfriend called me a pedophile... Such a big word for a six year old."
"1 in 5 Americans with a Twitter account complain about his/her damn stupid job every fucking Monday."
"I can't understand Undertale. It doesn't make sans."
"*wife walks in to see the boys have built a chair fort* Wife: PUT THOSE CHAIRS BACK! Me *climbing out of fort* YOU HEARD YOUR MOTHER!"
"Which athletes will not get Zika at Rio 2016? Those on Team Great Britain, because they'll leave."
"Q: How do astronomers organize a party? **They planet.**"
"If somebody's presence does not add value to your life..Then their absence should make no difference!"
"If you are on fire, my advice would be to get off fire."