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Joke of the Day

"When in Rome... Crucify Jesus"

"*I'm worried about tomorrow* Tomorrow: I'm fine, stop worrying."

"Simple cure for childhood obesity: Ice Cream Trucks that don't Stop."

"Q: Why do ya reckon Blonds don't have elevator jobs? A: Cos they've no idea of the route."

"What font was used on Wyatt Earp's tombstone? Sans Sheriff."

"I keep swallowing live ammunition. I thought, this time I'm going to go to the hospital, but as usual, I just farted a round at home."

"Q. Where does a fish keep his money A. In the River Bank!"

"[Enter a password] ""beansandsausage"" [Password must contain at least two capitals] ""limabeansandviennasausage"""

"Me: Nice flowers. Co-worker: They're from my boyfriend. Now I'm going to spend all weekend w/my legs in the air. Me: Don't you have a vase?"

"God, grant me the serenity to yell at immigrant children, the courage to still say I'm a Christian, and the ignorance to not get the irony."