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Joke of the Day

"Art Teacher: your drawings are due tomorrow me: [hours later] maybe add in some grapes police sketch artist: ..a bowl of fruit attacked you?"

"I saw Donald Trump walk by Natalie Portman and Ben Stiller without stopping... Turns out he really doesn't recognize Jewish Stars."

"I am really good at making jokes. Title."

"I feel like we're so close to finding the perfect zinger that will make the whole country immediately unite."

"Did you hear about the guy who was caught hiding illegal immigrants in Prague? He got prison for caching false Czechs."

"I don't know if I should go after that ghost or not. ~Drunk Pac-Man"

"I dated a girl once who turned out to be a cannibal. That really came back to bite me in the ass."

"I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Our country's going to shit and I will not stand for it... ...so I sat down"

"Why do mermaids wear sea shells? Because they can't fit in d-shells. Edit: re wording"