141800

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who was caught hiding illegal immigrants in Prague? He got prison for caching false Czechs."

"I discriminate against people who lose digits on their feet to frostbite. I guess you could say I am lactose intolerant."

"Pizza is like sex When it's good, it's the best. When it's bad, it's still pretty good"

"If you can't walk into your walk in closet, you might just live with your girlfriend."

"First Ebola and now Measles... Is there ANYTHING hipsters won't bring back!?"

"KIDNAPPER: Get in the van ME: Oh no thanks I'm vegetarian KIDNAPPER: Oh okay sorry *drives away* {15min later} KIDNAPPER: Wait a minute, wtf"

"What did the chicken say to the farmer Nothing, chickens don't speak English."

"All I want from life is to be able to respond ""crystal"" when someone angrily asks me if they've made themselves clear."

"*goes 100mph in Prius *gets pulled over by police Cop: HOW"

"What do you call a bunch of high Mexicans? Baked Beans"