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Joke of the Day

"deer diary: day 67 at hugwerts skool uv wezirdry nd none uv teh studints hav noticd dat my wahnd is an slim jim."

"I bought a dog the other day... I named him Stay. It's fun to call him... ""Come here Stay! Come here Stay!"" He went insane. Now he just ignores me and keeps typing. He's an East German Shepherd."

"What side of a monster has more hair ? The outside !"

"What Is The Best Boxing A Mexican Does? A: Oranges."

"My bucket list is just the words ""afford things"" written in orange crayon on a paper towel."

"What do you call two bees at the seaside? A B&B"

"I think there should be a small amount of weed in every first aid kit."

"There are rumors that Robert Pattinson from the ""Twilight"" movies may be the next Indiana Jones. If there is one thing I want with my rugged action heroes, it's a little bit of sparkle!"

"Why did the semen cross the road? because I put the wrong sock on this morning... :("

"How do you kill 100 flies in A second? (Dark humor) You slap an Ethiopian in the face."