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Joke of the Day

"deer diary: day 67 at hugwerts skool uv wezirdry nd none uv teh studints hav noticd dat my wahnd is an slim jim."

"Why shouldn't you protest wound treatment? It won't get better if you picket it."

"Why are there no casinos in China? Because the Chinese don't like Tibet..."

"I just saw a woman getting into a car the wrong way. Through the driver's door."

"Doctor doctor I feel like I'm part of the Internet! Well you do look a site"

"Tiger Woods goes through 18 holes in one day... And he STILL has time for golf."

"I left my phone at home and had no idea what to do with my hands while I drove"

"I read a whole book on adhesive substances last night, I just couldn't put it down"

"My Asian friend bought a dog today! Guess how much they got it for? $5.50 per pound."

"For my birthday my friends got me a sweater. I would have preferred a screamer or moaner, but a sweater was fine."