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Joke of the Day

"""Two messages, Sir. First, your tea has run out"" ""Correct English is 'you've run out of tea'. What else?"" ""You've walked out of wife"""

"What do you call a jackass in the mafia? A donkey."

"You would be amazed how cheap lawn mowers are at Home Depot when you own a pickup truck and a orange apron."

"What makes Stevie wonder? What everything looks like."

"My family tells me that I talk in my sleep almost every night.. But they don't say anything like that to me at work."

"Whenever it gets super cold outside, my penis exchanges its erection with my nipples."

"Inauguration Day crowds One more thing that Trump has that's smaller than a black guy's."

"I don't understand why people can't just check their kids at the airport with the rest of their baggage."

"I thought I'd surprise my girlfriend and re-wire the toaster. She was shocked."

"Why is Man Utd's chemistry lacking? Because they are held together by weak van den Gaal's forces."